Is that You, God? I’m waiting!

I’m a day late, I know.  Sunday night church is tough.  We go because it’s the contemporary service, which we love (esp. Jay & Abby‘s music).  But with the little ones used to a schedule, trying to get dinner and bedtime afterwards it just a chaotic rush and doesn’t put me in the right mindset to face the week.  I like to cook and have quiet Sunday’s at home to prepare for the week ahead.  So it’s been a struggle – the church service we like vs. our sanity!  All that to say, I’m usually not in the mood on Sunday nights to blog and provide inspiration for the week ahead (which I try to do for you all AND myself.)  So I’ll either make up my own (like last week) or just wait until Monday (or I guess we could go to the early service!)

David’s sermon last night (at New Church) touched a sensitive subject for me (and left me a bit frustrated).  He talked about calling.  Specifically in Exodus 3-4 when God is talking to Moses.  God couldn’t be more clear on what He wants Moses to do, but Moses keeps pushing back.  Sound familiar?  Is does to me, minus the clear part.  I am on a mission (the purpose of this blog) to find my calling, to listen for God’s messages to me on what I am supposed to do.  Have I heard it already and pushed it aside?  I sure hope not.  Will I be ready for it when I do get it?  I sure hope so!  But David pointed out when Moses heard his calling from God, he had some questions/objections:

  1. Who am I?
  2. Who are you?
  3. What if they don’t believe me?
  4. Isn’t there someone else more qualified?
  5. Can’t you send someone else?

As I am waiting for my calling – I’m not sure these are the questions I would ask.  Maybe more like; is it really You?  Are You sure?  How can I be sure?  Where do I start?  and Can You help me?  Not too different, definite reservations as to if it’s really God calling, and the need for His guidance. (Maybe God could give me a few tricks too?  Maybe not the staff-snake one though!)

Maybe I’m a little jealous of Moses that God spoke to him so clearly?  Not that I want that calling (unless God wants that for me!).  I’m just getting impatient waiting to find out what mine is.  I feel bad feeling bad.  I know I’m called to be at home with my kids at this point in my life (no regrets leaving the corporate world).  But I can’t help but wonder what is next when I see them growing up (way too) fast.  It may not be huge, like Moses, but it will be mine, and I can only pray for and open heart and clarity and peace when I do hear!  But I also pray that I don’t write it off as a coincidence when I do hear it, or talk myself out of it, or pretend not to hear it (all examples David gave.)

Off from the message, but rather on to what I took from the message, is the song I chose for this week.  I had a few in mind, but as I typed this out, the verse “I’m waiting on you Lord, and I am hopeful” came to mind from John Waller’sWhile I’m Waiting“.  It’s the attitude I try to have (need to have).  Although it’s not comfortable, I will be obedient, I will serve You, worship You, and wait on You.  Knowing that You have a great plan for my life! (Jer 29:11)  (Sidenote: I’m incredibly blessed and can keep on going on as is, I just know I was (we all are) made for a bigger purpose and I’m anxious to find out what it is!)

With that I will leave you with my guiding verse and a YouTube video of the aforementioned song.  May you have an open heart to God’s calling for you in your life.  Have a great week and stay tuned!

John Waller
While I’m Waiting

I’m waiting, I’m waiting on You Lord
And I am hopeful, I’m waiting on You Lord
Though it is painful, but patiently I will wait

And I will move ahead bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience

While I’m waiting I will serve You
While I’m waiting I will worship
While I’m waiting I will not faint
I’ll be running the race even while I wait

I’m waiting, I’m waiting on You Lord
And I am peaceful, I’m waiting on You Lord
Though it’s not easy no, but faithfully I will wait
Yes, I will wait

And I will move ahead bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience

While I’m waiting I will serve You
While I’m waiting I will worship
While I’m waiting I will not faint
I’ll be running the race even while I wait

I will move ahead bold and confident
I’ll be taking every step in obedience, yeah

While I’m waiting I will serve You
While I’m waiting I will worship
While I’m waiting I will not faint

And I will serve You while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting
I will serve You while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting
I will serve You while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting on You Lord

I will serve You while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting
I will serve You while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting

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